


The 14 gods of love

by FantasyFreak_2



Series: The 14 gods of love [1]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Happy, Crack Treated Seriously, Creepy Elias Bouchard, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Grumpy Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Happy Ending, Happy Gerard Keay, Nice Elias Bouchard, Pining Martin Blackwood, You´re going to drown in it, but not like you think, some much fluff, they deserve better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26616892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasyFreak_2/pseuds/FantasyFreak_2
Summary: There are no 14 gods of fear, there are only the 14 gods of love. And Jon Sims hated every single one of them!“I have to read statement after statement where people get hugged by strangers or gifted sweets to make their day better or cute little animals come and cuddle with them! It´s nauseating!”“I think that sounds really sweet.”“My boss comes into the office everyday to give me a self-made photo album of all my best memories with little hearts and stars painted everywhere. And Elias gives us stickers of stars if he thinks we did well that day, something he thinks we did EVERY. SINGLE. DAY! That is just CREEPY!”
Relationships: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Series: The 14 gods of love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936270
Comments: 35
Kudos: 84





	The 14 gods of love

**Author's Note:**

> My friend had this idea of a story where there aren´t 14 gods of fear but of happiness and love and stuff and I loved it so I just had to write it. It got a bit more... creppy than intended but that is only because I just had to let Jon stay his grumpy old self so of course he wouldn´t appreciate it. But I promise all the characters might get a bit annoyed but everyone will be happy and get the relationships they deserve in contrast to the canon.
> 
> This is more an introduction to the idea but i really would like to write more stories about this AU where they also read statements and stuff. I really hope you like it so I get motivated to write more. Any ideas for stories would be appreciated in the comments.

Jon Sims didn´t know how he ended up where he was. Ok, he had some idea: He started working for the Magnus institute but how should he have known there would be… mystical powers. And not only that, really weird mystical powers. 

But finally he had managed to hunt down Gerard Keay and he would answer all his questions. Finally all of this would make sense.

The ghostly figure of Gerry – he insisted that Jon called him said – smiled at him. “Ok, so how much DO you know about these things, the Eye and that?”

Jon sighed. “I don´t – Uh… they… people consider them god-like and they have the power to affect the world in unnatural ways but cannot directly exist within it, so they rely on avatars or servants. But the avatars are… really weird?”

“Weird how?”

“Like they have unimaginable power and use it to… make children birthday parties or come into the archive just to tell everyone what a great job they are doing and hug them like Jane Prentiss.”

“Well, yes of course they do that. These gods, they feed on our happiness!”

“They WHAT?”

“Feed on your happiness! Love is the greatest power in the world.”

Jon felt like in a cheesy children´s book. “I – How?”

Gerry shrugged. “No idea. Smarter people than me have tried to figure that out but being absolutely happy doesn´t give you a lot of drive. Maybe the gods appeared out of nothing the first time something felt love. Maybe they´re older than that and they got inspired by all things we love. I really don´t know.”

“But isn´t love something different for everyone?”

“There are some deep seated feelings that are the same for everyone but yes it can be different and it changes over time but not quick. Gertrude reckons they´ve basically been the same since the Industrial Revolution. She and my mother follow Smirke´s list of fourteen.”

Jon had to sit down. “There are fourteen… gods of love?”

Gerry beamed at him. “Yes.”

“And all they want is for us to love each other?”

“Yes!”

“And are there… gods of any other… feeling?”

Gerry frowned. “Like gods of hate or fear? Of course not that would be terrible!”

“Terrible?” Jon laughed. “I have to read statement after statement where people get hugged by strangers or gifted sweets to make their day better or cute little animals come and cuddle with them! It´s nauseating!”

“I think that sounds really sweet.”

“My boss comes into the office everyday to give me a self-made photo album of all my best memories with little hearts and stars painted everywhere. And Elias gives us stickers of stars if he thinks we did well that day, something he thinks we did EVERY. SINGLE. DAY! That is just CREEPY!”

Gerry nodded. “Oh, that is the Eye. It wants to show you all the wonderful moments in your life and make lasting memories like photo albums or movies or…”

“Or tapes?” Jon asked a bit desperately.

“Well, probably? It would be a bit old-fashioned but that is probably part of the charm.” Gerry shrugged. “Why do you ask?”

“I feel compelled to… go to children´s birthdays or like… couples who propose and make a tape recording so that I can give it to them afterwards.”

“How nice.”

“I DREAM ABOUT IT!” Jon shouted. “I dream about Circuses and weddings every night. I just want a quiet night´s rest! What about the rest… what about the, the spiral? There is that creepy guy who calls himself Michael that is constantly following me and inviting me into his mirror maze.” 

“Yes it is a very fun maze.”

Jon didn´t even listen to Gerry too busy recounting all his weird experiences. “He made a door for me to transport me to an animal shelter so I can and I quote “calm down a bit by cuddling them!””

“Did it work?”

“I HAVE THREE CATS NOW!”

“Congratulations!”

“I DIDN`T WANT THREE CATS!”

“Well apparently you did.”

“Ok… ok…” Jon forced himself to take deep breaths. “So the Beginning probably brought all those statements of children and baby pictures.”

“The joy of birth!”

“The stranger brought me to those circuses and costume parties!”

“Such a nice power to be around, especially for children. Always full of fun and surprises!”

“Clowns are always creepy, even a god can´t change that!” Jon grumbled. “Ok then: Togetherness.”

“Smirke called it Gatherings. The feeling to be surrounded by all your friends and family!”

“I don´t have family and my friends suck! Tim doesn’t stop trying to get me and Martin to go on a date. And he made me a surprise birthday party.”

Gerry raised his eyebrows. “How terrible! Oh, I forgot to mention with The Gatherings there are also often comfort foods like sweets and chocolate”

“What if you don´t like sweets?”

Gerry frowned. “Who doesn´t like sweets?”

“I don´t like sweets!” Jon said exasperated.

“Curious.” Gerry cocked his head. “Did you meet some servant of The Gatherings already?”

“Yes.” Jon sighed. “Peter brought me tea… it tasted like Martin´s!”

“Well there you go then!”

Jon sighed. “The warming flame!”

“Heartwarming: Everything that gives you that nice, warm feeling in your chest.”

Jon put his face in his hands. “Oh for god´s sake, can it become any more cheesy? What about the Surprise?”

“Oh pure desire to make your life better. It is not targeted or premeditated, it is just going to the next person to you and try to make them laugh by surprising them.”

“I would hate that. Actually I DO hate that, I met with Jude Perry and before I even saw her she jumped at me to hug me. It was terrible!”

“They can be a bit… overzealous!”

“You can say that. Ok next: Vertigo!”

“Rollercoasters, bungy jumping, skydiving. Hell, even going into space counts.” Gerry hopped up and down like a child. “Space! Isn´t that amazing?”

Jon sighed. “Great, just great! And what about the opposite? The claustrophobia?”

“Oh, you mean the Buried? Playing in the sand, cave exploration, even pillow forts.”

“Pillow… forts.” Jon sounded pained. “The Light?”

“Well pretty obvious since humanity wouldn´t exist without it. From the sun to lamps to a small candle to read by.”

“And then there is… it´s like warm clothing and cuddling but also cute little animals?”

“Oh the Fleece!”

Jon starred at Gerry as if he was insane. “Fleece? Like the stuff my jacket is made with?”

“Well, yes but if it´s in your jacket than it is hopefully synthetic, the fleece god doesn´t want his animals to suffer. But well it is like you said: Cuddling, physical contact, anything warm and soft.”

“But not… insects or fish or stuff?”

“No they belong to Helpers. Every clever animal or plant that helps you in your life: Cats that keep away the rats or spiders who catch flies. It also doesn´t have to be animals, humans that help you by bringing you tea or massage you can belong to it too”

Jon inevitably had to think of Martin “But… don´t cats serve the Fleece?”

“Oh the gods aren´t 100 % separate. They are more like colours where the edges bleed together!”

“Aha!” Jon didn´t count but he hoped they would soon be through with this nonsense. “Ok, but what about Petting? That is just plain weird.”

Gerry laughed. “Did you think people are so special it’s only our love that counts?”

“Wh – No…”

“Everything feels loved sometimes. Sure, maybe it’s not as complicated or… existential as our love, but it’s real. For them it would be more like grooming but well… humans named that god so it´s called Petting.”

“And if it reaches out to people…”

“Things get a bit weird. Yeah. But really is it so bad to be petted like a house cat sometimes? They seem to quite enjoy it!”

“THREE HOURS!” Jon hissed. “I was petted for THREE HOURS straight!”

“And I´m sure you´re far more relaxed now!”

“I hate you” Jon snarled. “SO MUCH!”

“Now… now… don´t be so rude.”

“OK, that last one: Playing.”

“Everyone enjoys playing with each other: Playing catch, playing soccer, playing on the computer. It is a social event and strengthens your body and mind.”

“How wonderful.” Jon said between gritted teeth. “And what about the rituals?”

“Well, the gods want to change the world so that everyone can feel their love.”

Jon´s face became white. “Oh no!”

Gerry didn´t seem to notice. “Everlasting happiness.” 

“Sounds more like hell.”

“Finally no one has to suffer anymore!”

“Forever getting stuck being force fed sweets or being petted sounds a lot like suffering to me.”

“And even better…”

“Oh no what comes now?”

“Elias wants to make a ritual where all gods can come into our world at once!”

“NOOOOOO! I have to stop him!” Jon ran out of the room.


End file.
